Issue 21, Spring 2026
Written by Altessa Amhuluk, Edited by Gretchen Glass
Stop Screaming Into The Void and Start Screaming Towards Innovation Even After College!
A popular activity the youth of today is screaming into the void. Although there are therapeutic benefits to this practice, it mostly results in draining our precious energy and time. This led to our research team bravely asking, “how can I scream AND use this energy to help me reach my fullest potential?”
The simple answer is, scream towards something you want. The Poltergeist Polytech motto, “Screaming Towards Innovation” struck home with lead researcher Dr. Geist from her alumni which led to success on this project. “I know the founder of PP was thinking more metaphorically since she had to push herself in a field that was not yet established at the time, but we thought maybe it could be taken a little more literally too.”
Dr. Geist and her team began testing with field agents by giving them war cries to use when stuck on a difficult ghost mitigation job. “Our field agents are the best and immediately curated their warcries with things that personally energized them to keep going in this challenging field. It was inspiring to watch as their screams not only startled apparitions making them easier to catch, but also resulted in them having more innovative ideas for future cases.”
Although research is still under development to give us a more detailed guide on the subject, to try it out for yourself, simply think of one of your most energizing mantras and scream it out when you need to innovate. Please feel free to contact the RND team at Info@ectowash.com with any interesting results you may have. They only ask that you stay vigilant and remain focused #4theliving for positive results.
Quote of the week: “Me-Me Mew, Mew-Me Me-Me Mew. Meow. Me Meow Meow!”
Hairball count: 13 (seasonal change or increase in clarity?)
Led Meetings: 3 scheduled all with the dress code of a cowboy hat, 13 unscheduled 3am meetings, 1 astral projection at 6:55am right before day shifts, alarm clocks go off.
Crystal Ball Slaps: 7 skippity slaps, 3 zoomies after 5 minute gazing sessions, 1 hairball directly onto the tarot card deck next to the crystal ball (CC team investigating meaning still)
Spring Ghost Scout Badge Earning Guide
This year’s spring ghost scout badge week will be the first week of March so our CC team has put together three badges that you could potentially go for. If you participated in the fall event and are ready for more adventure, the community has come together to make even more events possible to earn badges so you can keep innovating and moving forward as a scout. Stay vigilant Scouts!
- Protege Badge – While accompanied by a Field Agent on a threat level 2 investigation, assist in setting appropriate ghost soaps up for capture without getting tricked by an apparition or running away in fear. Note: Vigilant Investigator Badge required before attempting this badge.
- Brave Lil Scout Badge – All Phantom Indexes are rated by clairvoyant cats and cataloged by CC team agents, but they can’t get this done properly without photographs taken. Since cats don’t have thumbs, photography is challenging if not impossible. Get a certified photograph taken of a haunted location with a index rating of 5 or higher to earn this badge. Make sure to time stamp these ones so we know it’s a fresh one!
- Crafty Cat Supporter Badge – Get your artistic side going by making a piece of art paying homage to our clairvoyant cat pals to earn this badge. All art styles welcome and need to be authenticated and approved by Mystic Whisker’s Bug and/or Boo. We all enjoyed last fall’s crafting circles and courses on how to make Altessa’s Third Eye Cat Amigirumis which has decreased ghost haunting attempts around the creations by 33%!
Welcome To Lingering Cove: The Community Behind EctoWash HQ (Part 2)
Last month, we began exploring Lingering Cove’s history and founding and left off with the community’s first attempt at reducing down the ghost population. Did the rag tag team of Cryptologist On The West-side, Gideon and the local sasquatch community successfully trap the ghosts in the cove and then push a huge boulder in front of it to keep them inside?
Although the group was successful with the current population of ghosties, the town’s name was still attracting out-of-town apparitions to the area at alarming rates. Unfortunately, until Beatrix Mire arrived in the early 1700s ghosts were just scared away by cryptid stories told by the humans and the stories were reinforced by the sasquatch community to scare off any who continued to linger nearby.
Meanwhile, LinCo was thriving and attracting many cryptologist and curious weirdos to the area, making the locals united in accepting any and all living. This eventually attracted Beatrix Mire and her coven as they heard tales of the entombed group of apparitions in the beach cove and in 1727 Mire established Poltergeist Polytech’s campus in LinCo with their first community project eradicating the beach cove.
In 1818 the beach cove was cleared of all ghosts using Beatrix Mire’s and her coven’s new techniques using local clairvoyant cats. The success made not just local papers but throughout the state which helped build up our wonderful community we have today that is united against ghosts and #4theliving.
Can You Trap A Ghost In A Hammock?
You know those hammocks that kind of cocoon you in them once you lay down? Well, they kind of remind me of a cozy trap and that go me thinking. What if we lured ghosts to hammocks during the summer?
Here is why it would totally work:
- Ghosts are lazy and so are more prone to laying down in cozy spots.
- They often try to steal the best shade in summer already so they will probably already be under a tree or something.
- They are too dumb to realize that just because they can’t see us through the hammock it doesn’t mean we don’t know they are there.
It makes sense to me so much so that I’ve summited a 10 page outline to RND this morning in hopes we can develop some kind of sting operation out at Batsquatch Parks and Recreation center over the spring to try it out. What innovative ideas have you thought about lately? Let us know in the comments below or email us at info@ectowash.com . Stay vigilant!
