Troubled Travel

No per diem can prepare you for the chilling horrors that lurk in hotel HVAC vents and airport lounges. For corporate nomads, EctoWash is an essential carry-on.

We all know the risks that come with life on the road – jet lag, rental car dings, rubbery convention center chicken. But few recognize the true peril faced by those who spend more nights in Marriotts than their own homes: the pervasive threat of paranormal activity.

“I’ve had my briefcase fly open and papers scattered more times than I can count,” admits management consultant Devin Wyndham, who logs over 200,000 miles annually. “For years, I just assumed it was aircraft pressure changes or my own absent-mindedness. I never imagined it was…them.”

The “them” Devin refers to are the malicious spirit realm’s most aggressive specters – corporate phantasms hellbent on sowing discord, unraveling meticulously crafted keynote decks, and pushing the limits of expensed minibar tabs. With ties to the material world still entangled in red tape and regret, these ectoplasmic entities view business travelers as ties to be loosened, laptops to be drained of power, and souls to be sapped of motivation.

“I used to wake up at 3AM in cold sweats, my PowerPoints randomly rebounded into regards-style Latin fridge magnet poetry,” recalls Devin. “Contracts would sprout ominous redlines about claiming my soul for the underworld. It got so bad I had to flee the last Hilton just to avoid whatever was stalking me on the road.”

That’s when an eccentric Uber driver clued Devin into the secret power of EctoWash’s portable spirit management line. A few travel sized bars of our organic, artisanal soaps between his hotel sheets and carry-on were enough to break the spectral harassment cycle. 

“It’s like my whole career did a hard reboot – no more embarrassing typos in my speech transcriptions or toner cartridges being demonically depleted before board meetings,” Devin raves. “The ghosts gave up and moved on to easier targets like middle managers and life coaches. I actually won Road Warrior of the Year thanks to my newfound supplier agreement feng shui!”

So don’t become an apparition’s corporate punching bag. Unleash the wonders of EctoWash’s spirit squelching line and take back control of your travels from the paranormal world.