Ghost in the Machine

Code compiling by candlelight, seances in the server room – just another day at InfoSys Ops Solutions before the team discovered EctoWash.

When we arrived at the Silicon Valley startup, it was clear something paranormal was afoot. Developers were huddled under blankets, mumbling incantations over their keyboards, while managers attempted arcane rituals to appease the network sprites. CEO Amanda Vanbernell reached out in desperation after the ghost in the machine became too much to handle. 

“It started small,” admitted lead engineer Brent Bellacruise. “Strange glitches, stack overflows, the occasional windows.dll possession. Then our Docker containers started taking on lives of their own, sprouting avatars made of pure energy and taunting us with threats of technical debt and legacy code bugs.”

Systems architect Patty O’Byrnes tried every exorcism script and deliverance routine in the DevOps bible to no avail. “The spirits mocked our YAML pipelines, crashed our Kubernetes clusters on a whim. No one was safe – even our Atlassian suite turned against us, filling our Jira with cursed epics.”

That’s when the team knew they needed expert help. When their COO James Byres wrote out the EctoWash URL during an sleep walking incident, they reached out right away. We gathered our team of techno-wizards and arrived at the next solar eclipse, armed with artisanal IDEs pre-loaded with EctoWash’s unique ghost management formula. We carved a powerful function into custom soap bars and distributed them around the server room. Within just two months, things were looking up.  

“It was like a million RedGate angels blessed my RAM,” beamed a rejuvenated Brent. “Our sprints are back on track, our CI/CD is exorcism-free, and to celebrate we raised the prices on all our service tiers!”

If your own code ninjas are being haunted by phantom bugs and poltergeist commits, don’t try to Git blame your way out. Contact the EctoWash team today!